A Friendly Musical Visit Every Day

It's the end of another year. Let's go out dancing, shall we? Been a tough one--possibly the hardest year of my adult life. It's difficult to compare this year's hardships to the ones I experienced, say, twenty years ago, because this year is so much fresher in my mind. That said, living with chronic illness is rough. Being a cancer caregiver while living with chronic illness is even rougher. I've never been one to look on the bright side of anything, but it occurs to me often that my partner and I now have a much closer bond than we did prior to his cancer diagnosis and treatment. His course of radiation was extremely intensive, with appointments every weekday for a month and a half. There were many times when I felt sure the treatment itself would kill him. He slept nearly every hour of the day. He became so dehydrated he needed daily IV fluids. He slept while they were being administered. The doctors, nurses, and other staff members at his cancer care centre

I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I think my brother-in-law might be the most boring person in the world. Every time he talks, I feel my soul leaving my body. I keep wondering why nobody shuts him up, but I guess I don't shut him up either, so who am I to talk? As I mentioned yesterday, we had a little Christmas gathering with my partner's family. It was just a few of us: my partner and I, his sister, his brother, and his brother's wife. I am the new recruit. I haven't been around this family long enough to have a proper place in it. I love my partner's sister. I like his sister-in-law. But his brother, oh man, every time he starts into another one of his diatribes about fixing a billing error that was off by fewer than five cents, I wish someone would hit him over the head with something heavy.  He doesn't do anything, so he's got nothing to talk about, but he talks about nothing non-stop. I feel myself reverting to childhood, wanting to yank on

I asked my partner to choose a song for you today, and this is the one he picked. We had lunch with his family this afternoon--more on that later. But for now, there's this. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

I have 100% become one of those boring grandparents who talk incessantly about their adorable grandchildren, but who could possibly resist showing off about cuteness? I can't resist. I've tried. It just doesn't work. My stepdaughter has a couple of rescue birds, one of which is called Poppy. My granddaughter has now learned how to say the word "Poppy" and she calls everything that is (or resembles) a bird by that moniker. The way she pronounces "Poppy" sounds a lot like "puppy," so it seems like she's calling birds dogs, but she's not! She knows what she means, and we know what she means because my stepdaughter explained the intricacies of her little one's language to us. Their Christmas tree was decorated with many different bird ornaments. My granddaughter would point to each one and say "Poppy" and my stepdaughter would take it down from the tree and hand it to her. She would give the bird a kiss, then hand it back to h

Speaking of not being able to remember who sang any given song, we came upon a crossword clue recently that was something like "Jewel who sang The Birds and the Bees (1965)" and I realized that, despite growing up listening to this song, I never had any idea who the singer was. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

My partner and I went for a long walk Christmas morning. My meds have been making me nauseous in the mornings (tired in the afternoons, pain in the evenings), and I find that going for a walk helps to settle my stomach. So we left for our walk after we'd opened our stockings, but before we'd opened our gifts.  I can't remember the last time we had such a warm Christmas. We dressed in our usual winter gear, but it was far too sunny to keep it on. Before long, we were peeling off our layers. At one point, as we were removing our toques, my partner said, "Hats off," and of course this song came to mind. Neither of us could remember who sang it, but the internet knows all.   If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  A

Once upon a time, I had a crush on a man who took his family to England every year to see London's West End production of Starlight Express. I've never seen this musical, myself, but in the 80s I did check the LP out of the library and I taped the cast recording onto an audiocassette so I could listen to it after I'd returned the record. I listened to it a lot, and I liked it even though it's strange. Or maybe because it's strange. Or maybe because I love trains. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers w

Earlier this month I told you a story about rich people showing up empty-handed for a visit and then telling us they had just visited a nursery that had all these gorgeous poinsettias and bought one for their sister. But not for us.  So yesterday my partner and I went to that same nursery and we bought ourselves a damn poinsettia. Our house is sadly un-festive, except that it's full of Christmas cards. My partner sends out stacks of Christmas cards every year, and he gets stacks in return. I really admire that quality in him: maintaining social connections is important to him, so he takes action on all that stuff.  I wanted to sent one Christmas card to one person and I didn't even do that. Anyway, we've got a locally-grown poinsettia now. We also put Christmas lights on a tree in the backyard. That's something. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only

Last night I came out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth to find all the lights off in the bedroom. This is unusual. My partner wouldn't normally turn out the lights until I was in bed, too. So I crept closer to him and I asked what was wrong. That's when I noticed he was curled up in a ball, rocking himself and crying. At first, he said he couldn't talk--it hurt too much. I got in bed with him and cuddled him and rocked with him. He told me his mouth hurt so much he couldn't bear it. His radiation treatments ended almost four months ago, but his mouth is still so sensitive it hurts to eat and brushing his teeth makes him cry. He hasn't used toothpaste in months. The mint in it hurts him too much. Last night's pain was the result of his nightly fluoride treatment--at least, he thinks that's what caused it. The reaction was extreme. It breaks my heart to watch him suffer. All I could think to do was hold him and rock with him. I've spent most of

I asked my partner which Christmas carol first comes to mind, for him, and he said it was this one. His reason for loving it? It's got the best descant. Maybe I've mentioned this in previous years, but my partner loves descants. Not only does he love them, but they make him cry. Every time he hears one, he cries. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I love that this man is moved to tears by music. There was a time, many years (decades) ago, when I could sing this descant. I can't anymore. In fact, I can't in an almost comedic way. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I al

I just finished reading The Fake by Zoe Whittall and I really enjoyed it. The tone of our song today is almost the opposite of the tone of this book, because this novel moves, baby! It's a page-turner. I actually listened to the audiobook and I think one reason I got through it so fast is that I've had a lot of train journeys recently. I can't read on the train or I get motion sickness, so audio works well in that context.  I also had bad side effects from one of my meds yesterday and I spent a lot of time throwing up. Each time I threw up, I felt lively enough to lie in bed and listen to this audiobook until I felt too sick to listen to anything. That's when I'd turn it off and groan for a while until I was sick enough to puke. Then I'd listen to a little more audio, and so on, and so forth. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check th

I woke up with this song in my head. Not sure why. It isn't a song of my generation. I think it might be from my baby sister's generation. I seem to recall her wearing a lot of Roxy clothing and having skateboarding posters on her bedroom wall when she was a teenager. These are very vague memories, though, because I moved out of the family home years before my baby sister hit her teens. It's kind of funny to think that this would be a nostalgic song for my sister, when it just falls into the category of "new music" (ie. music that came out this millennium) in my mind. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking thr

My partner and I were just watching Land Girls (I've seen it before, but it's much more melodramatic than I remember) and there was a great Billie Holiday song playing in the background of one scene. It wasn't this song. I don't know what song it was. I convinced myself I would remember the lyrics, even though I never remember anything. Sure enough, I don't remember even a single word. But this is a good song, so let's listen to it! If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I wou

I had a wonderful time at my family's Christmas party yesterday. Most of my extended family was able to make it, and I got to see my cousins' little kids for the first time this year. Time went by in a snap. It was fun. There wasn't a quiet moment. Everyone was eager to catch up, but that side of the family is so big there are probably a dozen people I didn't get a chance to speak to at all. And I wish I had! One of my cousins is about to move to the same city where my stepkids went to university. I wanted to talk to him about that, but never got the opportunity. My cousins and I don't tend to communicate except in person, at these family gatherings--which are few and far between, now that my grandmother is no longer with us. I miss my grandma. I think we all do. She was our matriarch and we adored her. Today's song of the day is always the first one that pops into my head when I need to think of an example of a Christmas tune. No clue why. There are so many

I've got a family Christmas party to go to today. Really looking forward to it. The last time my whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins) got together, side effects from my meds got in the way. I kept hoping I'd feel better eventually, because I truly wanted to see everybody, but in the end I was just too sick to go. So I'm hoping we don't have a repeat of that. Last night we had the radio playing the classical music channel and the host said he was taking requests for all those nostalgic Christmas tunes from your childhood. I told my partner this Dolly and Kenny album is my idea of nostalgiac Christmas music. Somehow, I don't think the classical music station is going to play it. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm a

Yesterday was a long hospital day with my partner. Though the news was good (radiation appears to have obliterated his cancer), as soon as his oncologist left the room, my partner and I both burst into tears. It wasn't a sad cry, but it wasn't a happy cry. We couldn't figure out what it was. A shared release of pent-up emotions, I guess.  Maybe it was relief, but relief doesn't usually feel so tentative. One of the many things I never realized about cancer is that the fall-out from treatment goes on and on for months and possibly years. The new thing we were worried about was swelling in my partner's neck and lymph nodes. It looks really bad, but his medical team assured us they expect to see this. It's common, and the degree of his edema is actually not too bad. They see far worse in their clinic.  So that was reassuring, but we also left with a list of 8 types of lymphatic massage to do every day. That's in addition to the new physiotherapy exercises that

Yesterday I took out the recycling, and I was so proud of myself that my body was literally vibrating. In fact, I didn't just take out one load of recycling. I took out two. That means I left my apartment TWICE. And, after three days of not leaving my apartment at all, taking the recycling all the way out to the dumpsters in the parking lot behind my building was a hugely big accomplishment. My partner is visiting his sister, and when we're not together, I find it particularly difficult to leave my apartment. The longer I go without leaving the apartment, the harder it becomes to leave the apartment.  When I lived alone, it was not uncommon for a week to go by before I managed to force myself out. Back then, I did volunteer work once a week, so I had to go out at a certain time. Other people were relying on me. It was still difficult to negotiate with my anxiety, but I could do it because I'd made a promise and because the volunteer work changed people's lives. The

I just watched an episode of You Can't Ask That (the Canadian version of the show) that featured people with Schizophrenia. One guy on the program mentioned that people probably think of those with Schizophrenia as dangerous because of negative media portrayals. He also mentioned that you only hear about someone having Schizophrenia if they've done something newsworthy; you don't hear stories about this guy with Schizophrenia who had a pleasant day. A few of my relatives have Schizophrenia, so I'd like to tell you a nice story about one of them. My uncle lived in the same apartment building for decades. He experiences paranoid delusions, and he commonly thought his neighbours were spying on him, bugging his apartment, had plans to make his life awful, stuff like that. He avoided other tenants by staying inside his unit most of the time. My aunts would come over to pick up his laundry, because using the laundry room in his building was too agitating for him. When he was

One time when I visited my mother, she had a small bag of Christmas decorations sitting by the door. When I asked why, she said she was getting rid of them. This blew my mind, because my mother is a hoarder. She hardly ever gets rid of anything. I looked through the decorations, and they all looked to be from the 1950s. They were children's ornaments, I'd say: clowns and cartoony animals, Humpty Dumpty, various characters. I remember hanging these on the Christmas tree when I was a child, but they must have belonged to one of my parents. Probably my father--his mother loved Christmas. She way overbought for us grandkids, and would sometimes tell us that her family was too poor for Christmas presents, when she was growing up. When she came here from Wales in the 1930s, her family lived in a homeless shelter for a while. The only gifts she and her siblings received throughout her childhood came from a charity run by the local newspaper. My grandparents were both factory wor

I've just about finished re-watching every episode of Cheers. I only have 3 episodes left on the PVR. Not the finale, although that in itself is 3 episodes long. I don't usual watch sitcom finales, because they make me sad, but if I do, I don't watch them last. That way I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I've got more episodes to rewatch. I don't like endings. I don't like things to be over. Not sure which 80s sitcom to dive into next. My sister has already re-watched Who's the Boss? twice in its entirety in the past couple years, but I can't really get into family sitcoms. I didn't mind them when I was a kid, because at that time I was part of a family. After living alone for so many years, and now living just with my partner, I feel too distant from the nuclear family structure. I gravitate toward workplace sitcoms. I wonder if WKRP is streaming anywhere.  Anyway, the reason we're listening to this theme song today is that every

I'm watching Heartbeat again. I think I could probably spend every waking hour watching Heartbeat. Largely because they play songs like this in the background. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

I was watching a murder mystery the other day, and the detective found a clue in the victim's journal: it was an ancient sepia photograph of the woman when she was a child. The photograph was dated... 1984. 1984? Okay, speaking as someone who was also a child in 1984, I can tell you that none of my childhood photos are sepia-toned! I do have quite a few black-and-white pictures of my sister and myself, but that's just because my father was kind of artsy with his camera and he would sometimes buy black-and-white film. But the vast majority of photos taken in 1984 were in full colour. Definitely not sepia! I wondered how old the prop person on that TV show was, and if they thought photography in 1984 was basically the same as photography in 1884. This is a cover of a Bowie song, by the way. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your

My partner often says to me, "You never get a day off."  He means from being sick.  And he's right: I can't remember the last time I had even one day when there wasn't something wrong with me. There's always something wrong with me. Usually it's to do with my chronic illness, but not always. I feel super-crappy this morning. I didn't sleep well last night. As soon as I got into bed, my nose felt all stuffed up and I couldn't breathe. I'm very congested right now. This is a new way of feeling awful. It's not part of my usual routine. I usually feel awful within the set parameters outlined by my chronic illness, but this is different. Feels like a head cold, or sinus thingy, something along those lines. Yesterday, my partner and I went for a walk. While we were out in the world, I thanked him for everything he does to take care of me and take care of the household while I'm ill. He, in turn, thanked me for everything I do to take care o

When I was listening to yesterday's song of the day last night, I was sure I could hear the Lark Rise to Candleford theme buried deep inside it. Now I have no idea. But I'm also dizzy and feeling a little dim. What else is new? I was cleaning out the eavestroughs earlier and, handing a bucket of leaf gunk down to my partner, I almost said, "Careful--it's pretty expensive." I meant heavy. The load was pretty heavy. But this is what my brain does, these days. Good thing I'm a writer, eh? If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I g

This song came on the radio the other evening while my partner and I were eating dinner. A wave of nostalgia washed over me, because I remember watching the film from which it came (The Snowman) when I was a child.  My partner had never heard of it, much less seen it.  I told him that this song gave me all the same feels I got from The Last Unicorn . Turns out both those animated films came out in the same year: 1982.  A good year for nostalgia, if you're me. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and

Did you notice this tune inside yesterday's song of the day? I was so happy to hear it, because I've been looking for an excuse to feature it here for months. :-) If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

The last time I drank coffee, I spent the whole day throwing up.  It happened to be the same day I started taking a prescription medication that is known to cause nausea, so I put it down to that.  I almost never drink coffee anymore, because it makes my heart do weird things, but I had a few sips this morning and I've been sick as a dog ever since. I'm still on the same prescription medication, and I also take a number of supplements recommended by my doctor to help control symptoms of my chronic illness.  Nearly every medication and supplement I take is known to cause nausea, stomach cramps, and/of diarrhea. I've mentioned before that every day is a delicate balancing act of eating enough food (and the right kind of food) so I can take my meds and not spend the rest of the day feeling like I'm going to puke. I guess we've learned that coffee has no place in my life anymore.  Oh well.  I used to be physiologically addicted to coffee. I went off it cold turkey whe

My partner used to work for rich people, and he's weirdly in awe of them. He thinks it's amazing what they've gone on to accomplish in science and the arts and... well, all the fields, really. But all I can think is: of course they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. They have money. Family money. Mega family money. Wealth equals connections. They can fund their projects with Daddy's cash, or with the help of rich friends. The other day, I told you about a visit from my partner's friends. I considered them to be bad company for many reasons, including the fact that they showed up at our door with a bottle of wine, even though my partner had told them he was no longer drinking alcohol (in large part due to the cancer treatment he was undergoing at the time). This weekend, we had a visit from a different couple. These people were rich. Very rich. Complaining about the quality of the free wine served at their very exclusive COUNTRY CLUB's Christmas

My partner and I went to a Christmas event in the town where he lives, and there was a barbershop quartet singing this song. Neither of us had ever heard it, which came as a bit of a relief. It was the end of the evening and we'd heard the same carols done over and over by various choirs and brass bands.  So we were happy to hear something fresh.  Although, apparently this song was written in 1989, so... well, I guess that's fresh for a Christmas carol. The girl standing beside me was singing along, so maybe my partner and I have just been living under a rock for the past 30-whatever years. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clic

A couple years ago, my partner and I attended a Christmas choral service at a church near my house. We're not church people, but my partner loves singing Christmas carols--only, he won't do it unless there are enough people around to cover up his voice. He doesn't like his voice. This was a big fundraising event for a local food bank, and it was also recorded to be broadcast on TV Christmas night. I was at my mother's house for Christmas, and I told her my partner and I were going to be on TV.  This was the one and only time we'd be able to watch the performance. It wouldn't be on again. But my mother wanted to watch a rerun of a some stupid sitcom instead. So that's what we watched. If you were hoping for a warm and fuzzy Christmas story, this isn't it.  If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local

We've had some intense (and very lengthy) posts lately, but this won't be one of them. This song was playing in the supermarket the other day. That's pretty much the only reason I've got for playing it today. I mean, it's obviously been stuck in my head since then... but I'm not complaining. My brain subjects me to much worse thoughts than anything disco could possibly inspire. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up: