A Friendly Musical Visit Every Day

We're moving next week. We're not happy about the move, but it's happening nonetheless. I'm going to miss this little house. I know how fortunate I am to live indoors at all, but the past three years have been the only time in my entire adult life when I've been able to live in a house, and going back to living in a high rise isn't something I'm enthusiastic about. The house and town (despite being very small--both the house and the town) are way too expensive to live in. Plus, there's the lack of access to medical care and public transportation.  So we're moving. I'm really sad. And stressed. And busy with all the packing. And my health is poor, as usual. Ill health makes sadness and stress even harder to cope with. That's the big reason I haven't been around. It occurs to me that the last time this blog went on a big hiatus was the last time we moved. It really does consume your life and energy. This song has been in my head every day f...

I have been incredibly ill. Emergency room, IV fluids, diagnostic equipment, more meds.  I'm so sorry for taking off without letting you know what was going on, but there are times when it can't be helped. I've missed sharing music with you. I think in terms of posts I want to write, but for a while I couldn't come near my computer. Now I don't remember what I wanted to say. Figures, eh? This song came into my mind at a time when I truly believed I would never get better. Time and treatment didn't seem to make any difference. I was just so sick all the time. At this point, I don't know whether I'm "better" or whether the new medication I'm on is just keeping me stable. More medical appointments to come.  Meanwhile, various other portions of my life are falling apart. Not my relationship. That's strong. My partner has been taking good care of me physically, and I'm trying to take good care of him emotionally, but now is not a happy t...

When my partner moved from his apartment in the city to a (small) house in a small town, he said it was because he didn't want to die listening to the woman upstairs snoring. Now he's bought this condo in a his hometown and a move seems imminent. I keep wondering how he's going to react to the other-people noises in this new building. My own apartment building is a concrete structure. This morning, I woke up to the sound of a sneeze. My partner isn't here with me. The sneeze came from another unit. I'm not even sure whether it was a human sneeze. I think it might have been a dog sneeze. He got away from the thing he wanted to get away from, and now he's going back to it. What's worse is that he's moving farther away from the place he wants to be (the city) because it's so massively expensive to live here. I can only afford my place because I've lived here for twenty years and rent controls have kept the cost down somewhat (long ranty story). T...

Gosh, I love this song.  The original Elvis Costello version was playing on the radio (which was playing through my headphones, through my phone) as I descended into a ravine near my partner's house. There's a mulberry tree in full berry down there.  As I started picking those delicious purple fruits, the mosquitos came out of nowhere to attack. They were biting me everywhere skin was exposed (which is to say my hands and my head), but they seemed to like the flesh near my hairline the best. I started swatting without thinking--without realizing I was holding extremely ripe mulberries between my fingers. Suddenly, I could feel the juice streaming down my face. Now I was batting away the mosquitos while simultaneously trying to wipe what might appear to be blood from my head, and thinking, "Gee, I hope I don't see anyone." The mosquitos were too much. I headed for home, which was not even a five minute walk away. That's when a couple emerged from a nearby ...

Remember when my partner and I were sick a month or two back? Well, he got sick two days before I did. I spent those two days taking care of him and watching Bergerac on BritBox. This track was playing in a very 80s nightclub on one episode. I'd been looking for an excuse to play some Human League for you, so it works out perfectly. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See ...

Isn't it wild, being in your forties and your mom still lectures you for things you did when you were an actual child? Actually, I hope this isn't your experience. I hope you have parents who support you instead of shaming you. I hear those parents really do exist! When you grow up in a house of trauma, you never quite believe that there are functional families out there in the world, but I have it on good authority they're out there somewhere. Not here, though! I was talking to my mom earlier (you might have guessed...) and she brought up this incident where an adult asked me if I wanted to do something and I said no, I don't want to do that. It was nothing bad or weird! This adult was one of the only positive role models I had, aside from teachers. To this day my mother is "so embarrassed" that I--a mere CHILD--had the audacity to advocate for my own comfort and personal preference instead of just going along with what other people wanted. My mother is ...

My friend Alison quoted this song the other day. I thought for sure it had already been a song of the day, but I'm glad I checked because apparently it hasn't been. I'm also glad to have found a song so easily, because I've got a serious migraine and my meds are making me tired and sick. Thinking is hard. Typing is hard. Everything is hard. But I've always liked this song, and I've never really known why. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you ...

My partner got a birthday card that said, "In case you've forgotten that you're old, here's a reminder," and I said to him, "You never forget that you're old," and he said to me, "You never forget that you're old," and I said, "I feel old, but I feel like a kid. I feel like an old kid."  And then I remembered this song, which I probably listened to a thousand times before iTunes ate it. I rarely felt like a child when I was an actual child. I had too many family responsibilities to feel like an actual child. And then neighbours and family friends would notice how "responsible" I was and pile on more adult responsibilities.  When I was a preteen, I remember a family friend (who knew how messed up our situation was: substance abuse, parental neglect, domestic violence) getting quite emotional when she told me how impressed she was with the way I shouldered so many responsibilities I shouldn't have to take on.  Bu...

For Easter, my partner gave me a chocolate bunny. But you know what else he gave me that's even better than chocolate? No, not that. Well, yes, that too, but that's not what I'm talking about. He bought me some of the supplements my doctor put me on. They're pretty expensive (to me--I don't know what qualifies as expensive to other people anymore) but once I started buying a better brand instead of store brand, I noticed a dramatic reduction in the frequency and severity of attacks (when my chronic illness flares up, it's called an "attack" in the literature--how's that for frightening?). So I'd been talking to my partner about how the better supplements really seem to be making a difference, but BOY are they ever pricy and, sure enough, he goes out and buys them for me as a gift. How's that for thoughtful? If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my book...

I've been flipping through my novel Fortune's Diary (a book from the Lesbian Diaries series that totally flew under the radar) and in one scene Fortune and her crush Maya are in downtown Toronto eating shawarma and listening to a busker. The busker is singing Cornflake Girl, a song Fortune has never heard before. When Maya tells her what the song is called, she thinks the title is hilarious. My best friend in high school put this song on a mix tape she made me. Ah, memories... If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I genera...

When I was in Grade 3 (that's how we say "Third Grade" in Canada), I joined the stamp club. I bet that sounds pretty nerdy, but either it was super-cool or else all my friends were nerds too, because we all joined the stamp club. It was held after school in a small, dark room, which sounds creepy, but it wasn't.  I can't remember the teacher's name who ran the stamp club, but every week he'd hold a draw for us members, and the winner got a set of stamps he was giving away. One week, I won Disney stamps. I forget which country they were from. I think I might have given them to Sweet, because she was a Disney fanatic, but I hope I didn't give them away.  As I so often mention, I'm getting nostalgic, and part of that nostalgia is wanting things from my childhood. Like those Disney stamps. My paternal grandmother gave me stamps when I was in the stamp club. She'd placed them in two sheets from a large photo album. I have no idea where she got them ...

Until today, I never knew what this song was called or who it was by. YouTube wanted me to listen to it, and I was happy to oblige. Since I happen not to be missing anyone, romantically, at the moment, let's just say this post is brought to you by Wedding Heat Weekend , which is the brand new complete collection of all fifteen novelettes and novellas in my Wedding Heat series. It's available as an ebook from select retailers, as well as in paperback and hardcover formats. A great way to support my daily writing efforts here is to buy my books, and this one is both romantic and super-spicy! If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when ...

When we were at my apartment last week and I was so, so ill and my partner wasn't home, there was a day when I wanted very badly to go out and get some fresh air. Problem: it was raining hard and I had very little strength or balance, so I knew I would need to use my walker if I wanted to leave the house.  I can't hold onto/push my walker and also hold an umbrella. I would either have to get very wet or just not go outside. So I just didn't go outside. Later on, I was looking out my window and I saw an old man walking with a walker. Just behind him was a younger person holding a big umbrella over his head so he wouldn't get wet.  Honestly, when I saw that scene outside, I felt overwhelmingly sorry for myself. Sometimes I feel like I've fallen through all the cracks. I'm glad that man got to go out in the rain, but I'm sad for myself because I wanted to and I couldn't. Other people get the help they need. I don't.  I feel lucky to have my partner arou...

This song gives me all the right 90s feels. Wow, does it take me back. It came to mind the other day when I woke my partner up in a fun way, and after we'd gotten out of bed I came up behind him to give him a fierce hug. He smelled like candy (and sex...) but that seemed odd because it was eight in the morning and he doesn't usually start his day off with a pack of Twizzlers. Then I realized I was smelling the Sesame Street Vitamin D gummies I'd bought off the clearance rack. We are big fans, but I think it's a tease that you can only eat one per day. They taste really good. There's a story in my Audrey and Lawrence collection that always comes to mind when I hear this song. I can't remember what it's called, but candy is featured prominently in the bedroom. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local libr...

You know... I just wanted to listen to this song today. Simple as that. It came out when I was in high school. It's complex and acerbic. Still holds up after, what, nearly thirty years? If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

Earlier this month I told you a story about rich people showing up empty-handed for a visit and then telling us they had just visited a nursery that had all these gorgeous poinsettias and bought one for their sister. But not for us.  So yesterday my partner and I went to that same nursery and we bought ourselves a damn poinsettia. Our house is sadly un-festive, except that it's full of Christmas cards. My partner sends out stacks of Christmas cards every year, and he gets stacks in return. I really admire that quality in him: maintaining social connections is important to him, so he takes action on all that stuff.  I wanted to sent one Christmas card to one person and I didn't even do that. Anyway, we've got a locally-grown poinsettia now. We also put Christmas lights on a tree in the backyard. That's something. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only...

Last night I came out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth to find all the lights off in the bedroom. This is unusual. My partner wouldn't normally turn out the lights until I was in bed, too. So I crept closer to him and I asked what was wrong. That's when I noticed he was curled up in a ball, rocking himself and crying. At first, he said he couldn't talk--it hurt too much. I got in bed with him and cuddled him and rocked with him. He told me his mouth hurt so much he couldn't bear it. His radiation treatments ended almost four months ago, but his mouth is still so sensitive it hurts to eat and brushing his teeth makes him cry. He hasn't used toothpaste in months. The mint in it hurts him too much. Last night's pain was the result of his nightly fluoride treatment--at least, he thinks that's what caused it. The reaction was extreme. It breaks my heart to watch him suffer. All I could think to do was hold him and rock with him. I've spent most of ...

I just finished reading The Fake by Zoe Whittall and I really enjoyed it. The tone of our song today is almost the opposite of the tone of this book, because this novel moves, baby! It's a page-turner. I actually listened to the audiobook and I think one reason I got through it so fast is that I've had a lot of train journeys recently. I can't read on the train or I get motion sickness, so audio works well in that context.  I also had bad side effects from one of my meds yesterday and I spent a lot of time throwing up. Each time I threw up, I felt lively enough to lie in bed and listen to this audiobook until I felt too sick to listen to anything. That's when I'd turn it off and groan for a while until I was sick enough to puke. Then I'd listen to a little more audio, and so on, and so forth. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check th...

Yesterday was a long hospital day with my partner. Though the news was good (radiation appears to have obliterated his cancer), as soon as his oncologist left the room, my partner and I both burst into tears. It wasn't a sad cry, but it wasn't a happy cry. We couldn't figure out what it was. A shared release of pent-up emotions, I guess.  Maybe it was relief, but relief doesn't usually feel so tentative. One of the many things I never realized about cancer is that the fall-out from treatment goes on and on for months and possibly years. The new thing we were worried about was swelling in my partner's neck and lymph nodes. It looks really bad, but his medical team assured us they expect to see this. It's common, and the degree of his edema is actually not too bad. They see far worse in their clinic.  So that was reassuring, but we also left with a list of 8 types of lymphatic massage to do every day. That's in addition to the new physiotherapy exercises that...

I was watching a murder mystery the other day, and the detective found a clue in the victim's journal: it was an ancient sepia photograph of the woman when she was a child. The photograph was dated... 1984. 1984? Okay, speaking as someone who was also a child in 1984, I can tell you that none of my childhood photos are sepia-toned! I do have quite a few black-and-white pictures of my sister and myself, but that's just because my father was kind of artsy with his camera and he would sometimes buy black-and-white film. But the vast majority of photos taken in 1984 were in full colour. Definitely not sepia! I wondered how old the prop person on that TV show was, and if they thought photography in 1984 was basically the same as photography in 1884. This is a cover of a Bowie song, by the way. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your...