#SongoftheDay Nuttin' for Christmas (Barry Gordon/Art Mooney and His Orchestra)

My partner used to work for rich people, and he's weirdly in awe of them. He thinks it's amazing what they've gone on to accomplish in science and the arts and... well, all the fields, really. But all I can think is: of course they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. They have money. Family money. Mega family money. Wealth equals connections. They can fund their projects with Daddy's cash, or with the help of rich friends.

The other day, I told you about a visit from my partner's friends. I considered them to be bad company for many reasons, including the fact that they showed up at our door with a bottle of wine, even though my partner had told them he was no longer drinking alcohol (in large part due to the cancer treatment he was undergoing at the time).

This weekend, we had a visit from a different couple. These people were rich. Very rich. Complaining about the quality of the free wine served at their very exclusive COUNTRY CLUB's Christmas party--that level of rich. 

The husband of the couple is my partner's friend. His wife is old money.

They showed up at our door empty-handed.

Look, I am not the kind of person who wants or expects gifts. Gifts are not my love language. In fact, I often react badly to receiving gifts due to childhood trauma. But when my partner found out this couple was dropping in for a visit (they were coming to town for another reason), he went out and bought all the fanciest food there is: brie and pate and expensive wine and beer (which we do not drink) so he could impress these rich people with his hospitality.

I've already written about how indescribably difficult it is to be a cancer caregiver, much less live through cancer treatement. My partner and I have had a rough few months, and they're only getting marginally easier. 

If you're going to show up at our door and you are embarrassingly rich country club elite, could you not bring us... something? A loaf of bread? Anything? No?

My mother is also undergoing cancer treatment at the moment, and I've seen how wonderful her friends and sisters have been: bringing her soups, frozen foods, flowers, gifts, giving her the option of a visit if she has the energy for it, and saying they could just drop off food and leave if she couldn't handle guests. Just huge, wonderful, beautiful home-cooked generosity from people who aren't struggling financially, but certainly aren't wealthy. So I have seen generosity in action. Unfortunately, it hasn't been actioned in our direction very much. (If you are one of two people who sent us a care package in the mail, rest assured that you are a rare treasure and we love you to bits.)

The real kicker, to me, was that these rich country club people went on and on about how they'd stopped at a gorgeous plant nursery on the way to visiting us. They raved about all the different poinsettias and other Christmas plants, and the rich lady mentioned she'd bought one for her sister.

Like... you haven't seen my partner since his cancer diagnosis. You show up at our door with nothing. You tell us about these beautiful flowers you bought... for someone else? Did it honestly not occur to you to buy a fucking poinsettia for us?

No?

I guess I'll never understand the rich.


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Giselle


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