A Friendly Musical Visit Every Day

I have been incredibly ill. Emergency room, IV fluids, diagnostic equipment, more meds.  I'm so sorry for taking off without letting you know what was going on, but there are times when it can't be helped. I've missed sharing music with you. I think in terms of posts I want to write, but for a while I couldn't come near my computer. Now I don't remember what I wanted to say. Figures, eh? This song came into my mind at a time when I truly believed I would never get better. Time and treatment didn't seem to make any difference. I was just so sick all the time. At this point, I don't know whether I'm "better" or whether the new medication I'm on is just keeping me stable. More medical appointments to come.  Meanwhile, various other portions of my life are falling apart. Not my relationship. That's strong. My partner has been taking good care of me physically, and I'm trying to take good care of him emotionally, but now is not a happy t...

My vacation was wonderful except that I had vertigo the whole time, and such bad nausea that I had to go outside any time my partner made coffee or cooked anything.  I guess that doesn't sound like a wonderful vacation, but when you are chronically ill to the point where you're just used to being sick every day, it's like... I'm glad I got to be sick in such a lovely spot? I don't know if that will make sense to healthy people. I'm not sure it would have made sense to me when I was healthy. There were two lakes close by, and I could swim on this floaty board thing (okay, so I could kick my feet) and that was nice. The only problem was that if I looked at the waves, I felt especially vertiginous. I didn't have my cane in the lake the first time I went in, and when I got close to shore I just kept falling over. Usually when I start falling over, I catch myself on my cane or my walker or the wall or some furniture. But there was just lake, so I kept falling in...

Can't remember the last time I washed my hair, or bathed in any way for that matter. I splash water on my face in the morning, but that's it. Depression does this to me. I feel disgusting and I look disgusting, but the cashiers at my local grocery store are still so kind to me--even in this outwardly gross state--that I always leave the place with tears in my eyes. That's how much I appreciate their kindness. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have yo...

When my partner moved from his apartment in the city to a (small) house in a small town, he said it was because he didn't want to die listening to the woman upstairs snoring. Now he's bought this condo in a his hometown and a move seems imminent. I keep wondering how he's going to react to the other-people noises in this new building. My own apartment building is a concrete structure. This morning, I woke up to the sound of a sneeze. My partner isn't here with me. The sneeze came from another unit. I'm not even sure whether it was a human sneeze. I think it might have been a dog sneeze. He got away from the thing he wanted to get away from, and now he's going back to it. What's worse is that he's moving farther away from the place he wants to be (the city) because it's so massively expensive to live here. I can only afford my place because I've lived here for twenty years and rent controls have kept the cost down somewhat (long ranty story). T...

I have horrible fatigue and vertigo--basically can't do anything but breathe and cry right now--but I've been listening to the Rifftrax riff of A Talking Cat!?! since 4 this morning. There's a character in the movie named Tina, and I always end up hearing the "Tiny the Talking Tabby" jingle in my head when someone says her name. My baby sister loved Arthur, and forced our family to watch Arthur's Perfect Christmas every year, well into adulthood. Anyway, if I have to suffer, so do you. (sorry) If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my news...

This song popped into my head this morning--possibly because I can't dance, but more probably because I can't walk. Or potentially because I've taken to walking with my hands out in front of me like Frankenstein. You know my chronic illness makes me dizzy and gives me vertigo, but I'm not sure if I mentioned that one of the medications I'm on also makes me... something else? I'm not sure how to describe it. I don't feel dizzy in my head, but I start to fall over and I have to catch myself against a wall or whatever is around. That's when I'm indoors. Outdoors, I've got my cane or my walker to catch me, but indoors I rarely use either. I just hold myself up against the furniture. Anyway, I've been walking into doorframes a lot lately. Hence the Frankenstein walking. I'm trying to keep myself away from things that hurt me. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do ...

My partner figured out how to play music from his phone through the car speakers. This song is on one of his playlists and the first time it came on, wow, it was the 90s all over again. It occurs to me, watching this video, that it would be very confusing to anyone who hadn't seen Ally McBeal. Or who didn't remember the 90s, for that matter. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com...

Okay, last track from Cool as Ice. There are obviously more songs in the movie, but most of them are by Vanilla Ice. This outfit reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross gets stuck in his leather pants. Menopause really gets you thinking: how much am I going to sweat if I wear this? heh If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

Another track from Cool as Ice. Okay, so it was in a bad movie. So what? This is a flat-out banger, if you as me. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle

I usually fall asleep listening to Rifftrax or old MST3k movies. For the past month, my cinematic masterpiece of choice has been Cool as Ice, a 1991 film starring Vanilla Ice. One day, when I was very sick, I listened to Cool as Ice at least 5 times in a row. I tried to actually watch it once (with my eyes, I mean), and the cinematography made me nauseuous. So I just listen. It's a weird obsession. VERY weird. So, this song is from the soundtrack. There's a lot of music in the movie, and it's not all bad. A lot of it piques my nostalgia. By the way... this video. It reminds me of those lip synch music videos people used to make at Canada's Wonderland. I can't decide whether I love it or... not. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help m...

I'm not very steady on my feet. I experience so much vertigo, dizziness, weakness, and fatigue that I usually use a walker or a cane to get around. You know all this, if you've been reading my posts for a while. On a couple of occasions, my mother has made fun of my disability by laughing at me and imitating the way I walk. One of my sisters commonly looks at me with disgust. Another loses her patience because I can't move very quickly. Strangers on the street have been kinder to me than my own family. My mother has invited me to come on a little vacation this summer. A friend loaned her his cottage. I used to enjoy spending time with my family, but why would I want to spend a week with people who treat me the way they do? In a city of millions, I have never witnessed a stranger pointing at me and laughing and imitating my gait. But my own mother thinks this is okay behaviour? She wouldn't do that to a stranger, but she's done it to me. Maybe my family feels uncomfo...

I have a very meaningful story that relates to this song. Hard to imagine, eh? But that's life. Sometimes you have meaningful stories about silly songs. When I was in middle school, I still watched cartoons. Heck, when I was in high school I still watched cartoons. But we're talking middle school, here, when my friends also watched cartoons because we all had younger siblings and because we just plain liked cartoons. We'd all seen this episode of Bobby's World recently when we went on a class trip to a museum. My friends and I started scream-singing this song as we walked around. We were fourteen and museums were boring and singing loudly was fun. The museum lady came over and gave us a stern lecture, basically telling us to shut the hell up. This was a serious place of learning.  Our teacher, who'd been walking alongside us, rolled her eyes at the museum lady. Our teacher rolled her eyes! At a museum lady! Who was getting us in trouble! You know how sometim...

Although we have separate residences, my partner and I spend most of our time together--either both of us at his house or both of us at my apartment. It's increasingly rare that we spend time away from one another, and when we do, I am astounded by how much I miss him. Right away!  The reason this amazes me is that I lived alone for 20 years.  I used to be used to being alone. Now I'm not. And I get so instantly lonely that I worry I don't have the emotional resilience (or whatever) to take care of myself. Emotionally. And resiliently. Or something. Was I stronger on my own? I mean... no. I was never not depressed throughout those two decades of living by myself. My mental health was significantly worse back then. I don't love being lonely when my partner's not around, and I'm not saying I'm a mentally healthy person (I'm definitely not), but... But what? I don't know. I don't think I know what kind of point I'm trying to make. I just miss my...

I've had this song in my head for days. Finally, I decided: Okay, it'll be our song of the day. So I came to my laptop. I opened it up.  And I thought to myself: What song was I going to post? After having it stuck in my head for ages, I couldn't remember it as soon as I needed to. But that's how my brain works, these days. So I shouldn't be surprised. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  h...

Oh dear. I woke up with this song in my head and I couldn't remember who it was by. I was more than a little surprised when it turned out to be Marky Mark, because all I could remember was the "It's such a good vibration" part--which is sung by Loleatta Holloway. I looked that up. But that's the only good part of the song (am I making a controversial statement?) so I really wanted to know who was singing. Blows my mind to think that I now have a granddaughter, and that some day my granddaughter might hear this track from 1991 and think of it as Grandma Music. From the 1900s. Whoa. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuf...

During our recent illness, my partner and I relearned a hard lesson: we can only rely on each other. Family, friends--we told them all we were too sick to function. We couldn't leave the house. We could barely get out of bed.  Nobody helped us. Nobody brought us casseroles or Gatorade. Even the people who live on the same bus route as me. Even the people I brought food to when they were sick.  Why do people thank me for my thoughtfulness but never, ever reciprocate? It's the same lesson I learned when my partner went through his cancer treatment: we're alone. But we're alone together.  If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change...

After days of not being able to leave the house due to migraines AND salmonella poisoning (what a combination...) I finally went out to buy a few groceries. I often use a walker to get around, and that was the case today.  On my way home, there was a snooty rich lady standing in the sidewalk so that I couldn't get by. I asked her if she could move and she didn't even look at me, just took the slightest half-step forward so she was still blocking my path. There was no way I could get by her with my walker. She also had a dog. Her dog was completely blocking my path. I asked her if she could move her dog and she didn't even acknowledge my existence. She did not move her dog.  It's always bothered me, being treated this way--being treated like I'm so inconsequential that I'm not even worth acknowledging--but I think it bothers me in a much deeper way when I'm using a mobility aid. Because I feel like... you've got no excuse, world. You look at me and you kn...

Listening to Ice Cream yesterday and mentioning the words "better than chocolate" made me think, of course, of the 1999 Canadian lesbian rom-com Better Than Chocolate. I saw that film pretty soon after it was released. It blew my queer young adult mind. Not because the movie was about lesbians--I'd seen movies that had lesbians in them before--but because it was a movie with lesbians in it that wasn't sad and tortured.  The other movies I'd seem with lesbians in them had been FILMS. Cinema. This was a movie. Practically a flick. It was a comedy. To be honest with you, I didn't really like it. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. But that made sense because I've never been a rom-com fan. It's just not my genre. I loved that the movie existed, though. I loved that people had brought this movie that I didn't even really like into the world. I have no idea whether Better Than Chocolate made a ripple worldwide. Canadian content often doesn...

For Easter, my partner gave me a chocolate bunny. But you know what else he gave me that's even better than chocolate? No, not that. Well, yes, that too, but that's not what I'm talking about. He bought me some of the supplements my doctor put me on. They're pretty expensive (to me--I don't know what qualifies as expensive to other people anymore) but once I started buying a better brand instead of store brand, I noticed a dramatic reduction in the frequency and severity of attacks (when my chronic illness flares up, it's called an "attack" in the literature--how's that for frightening?). So I'd been talking to my partner about how the better supplements really seem to be making a difference, but BOY are they ever pricy and, sure enough, he goes out and buys them for me as a gift. How's that for thoughtful? If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my book...

I've been flipping through my novel Fortune's Diary (a book from the Lesbian Diaries series that totally flew under the radar) and in one scene Fortune and her crush Maya are in downtown Toronto eating shawarma and listening to a busker. The busker is singing Cornflake Girl, a song Fortune has never heard before. When Maya tells her what the song is called, she thinks the title is hilarious. My best friend in high school put this song on a mix tape she made me. Ah, memories... If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I genera...