#SongoftheDay Hurt (Johnny Cash)

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Last night I came out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth to find all the lights off in the bedroom. This is unusual. My partner wouldn't normally turn out the lights until I was in bed, too.

So I crept closer to him and I asked what was wrong. That's when I noticed he was curled up in a ball, rocking himself and crying. At first, he said he couldn't talk--it hurt too much.

I got in bed with him and cuddled him and rocked with him. He told me his mouth hurt so much he couldn't bear it. His radiation treatments ended almost four months ago, but his mouth is still so sensitive it hurts to eat and brushing his teeth makes him cry. He hasn't used toothpaste in months. The mint in it hurts him too much. Last night's pain was the result of his nightly fluoride treatment--at least, he thinks that's what caused it. The reaction was extreme.

It breaks my heart to watch him suffer. All I could think to do was hold him and rock with him.

I've spent most of my day in bed. Once again, side effects from one of my medications have made me sick. This has given me plenty of time to listen to the audiobook of The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk's seminal work on the impact of PTSD on the bodies of trauma survivors like me.

As I listened today, I heard a line about the importance of touch, holding, and rocking when someone is in distress. I can't give you a quote or even paraphrase properly, but I was pleased to hear that my impulse to hold my partner and rock with him while he was experiencing intense physical pain might have actually been helpful. 

I often feel that I don't know what to do when someone else is hurting. I often feel powerless. But I think I actually helped, last night. Eventually, my partner stopped rocking and stopped crying and fell asleep.


If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library. 

Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.

I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.

I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list. 

Click here to sign up: http://eepurl.com/R4b11


See you soon!
Giselle


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