#SongoftheDay Why Does It Always Rain On Me? (Travis)

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When we were at my apartment last week and I was so, so ill and my partner wasn't home, there was a day when I wanted very badly to go out and get some fresh air. Problem: it was raining hard and I had very little strength or balance, so I knew I would need to use my walker if I wanted to leave the house. 

I can't hold onto/push my walker and also hold an umbrella. I would either have to get very wet or just not go outside.

So I just didn't go outside.

Later on, I was looking out my window and I saw an old man walking with a walker. Just behind him was a younger person holding a big umbrella over his head so he wouldn't get wet. 

Honestly, when I saw that scene outside, I felt overwhelmingly sorry for myself. Sometimes I feel like I've fallen through all the cracks. I'm glad that man got to go out in the rain, but I'm sad for myself because I wanted to and I couldn't. Other people get the help they need. I don't. 

I feel lucky to have my partner around. He helps me a lot when I'm sick, but I'm sick pretty much every day of my life and I don't want to ask too much of him. I'm afraid he'll up sticks if I get too needy. That is not a reflection on him, by the way--it is solely a reflection of my own trauma-based fears. 

But fears can easily cause a person to not ask for things they need, so maybe that's where I'm at. Maybe I haven't fallen through the cracks. Maybe I'm simply stuck.


If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library. 

Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.

I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.

I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list. 

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See you soon!
Giselle


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