#SongoftheDay Taller Children (Elizabeth and the Catapult)

By
My partner got a birthday card that said, "In case you've forgotten that you're old, here's a reminder," and I said to him, "You never forget that you're old," and he said to me, "You never forget that you're old," and I said, "I feel old, but I feel like a kid. I feel like an old kid." 

And then I remembered this song, which I probably listened to a thousand times before iTunes ate it.

I rarely felt like a child when I was an actual child. I had too many family responsibilities to feel like an actual child. And then neighbours and family friends would notice how "responsible" I was and pile on more adult responsibilities. 

When I was a preteen, I remember a family friend (who knew how messed up our situation was: substance abuse, parental neglect, domestic violence) getting quite emotional when she told me how impressed she was with the way I shouldered so many responsibilities I shouldn't have to take on. 

But in the next breath she asked if I could water her garden while she was on vacation.

If you know that an actual child has already had too many responsibilities heaped on them by neglectful parents, why would you add to their burden?

I mean, I did it, obviously. I was a responsible kid.


If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library. 

Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.

I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.

I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list. 

Click here to sign up: http://eepurl.com/R4b11


See you soon!
Giselle


Popular posts from this blog

#SongoftheDay Ordinary World (Duran Duran)

By
Image
I needed to give myself a bit of time before telling this story, because what I'm going to tell you about was very upsetting. Made me cry a lot. And I knew that as soon as I told you about it, I would start crying all over again. So I've taken a few days.  Here we go. Last week I had a medical appointment. I needed to get to my doctor's office for an injection. That day, my health was awful. I was weak and dizzy and all sorts of bad. Normally I would have used my walker, but the subway station near my doctor's office is not accessible. I mean, it is on paper, but in practice the elevators have been out of commission for over a year. The elevators are actually boarded up. So I know that if I take my walker to that station, I need to carry it up three flights of stairs. Which I have done. More than once. But that day I decided to just use a cane instead. I needed the walker, but I did not have the strength to carry it up three flights of stairs. Turned out the bus on my s
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay When I Take My Sugar to Tea (The Boswell Sisters)

By
Image
I have a friend who is 18 years older than I am, so she knows all about aging. All the standard stuff I'm going through is stuff she's been through already. So when I complained that I can't even have a cup of tea before bed anymore because the caffeine keeps me up, she had the perfect solution: decaffeinated tea. She took me to her kitchen cupboard, pulled out a box of store brand decaf teabags, and started stuffing them in a ziplock bag for me to take home. As she did so, she said, "This tea is actually pretty good. Well, it's not too bad. Well, it's okay. Well, it's fine." I couldn't agree less. The tea she gave me was awful. But! I later bought myself a little thingy of Tetley's decaffeinated Earl Grey, and that tea is one I would wholeheartedly recommend. It actually tastes really and genuinely GOOD and it doesn't keep me up all night.  If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest t
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay I'm Walkin' (Fats Domino)

By
Image
I've been in horrible pain all day (pardon any typos--thinking and typing are super difficult right now) and I just remembered a rant that's been inside me since last year. So buckle up, I guess. My partner and I listen to a classical radio station he refers to as "the old people channel" because it's very much geared toward older people. They regularly play radio spots from the head of a seniors' organization. Last year the head of this organization did a radio spot condemning the media for its "negative portrayal" of older people by showing them using "walkers and canes." I hear a record scratch in my head, which probably shows my age. But I'm actually not a senior. I'm in my forties.  I use both a walker AND a cane (not at the same time). And I would really love to know how using a walker and/or a cane equates to "negative portrayal" of persons in any age category. The only thing I can come up with is that disability =
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay Don't Wanna Lose You (Gloria Estefan)

By
Image
I started singing this song while making a YouTube video and had to cut myself off because I was afraid I was copyright-infringing. I sing to self-soothe when I'm feeling anxious and depressed, which I am these days. Big-time.  Apparently depression and anxiety can get worse in perimenopause, so great. Living with depression for more than twenty years wasn't enough of a challenge. Let's make it harder at mid-life. Self-care is something I struggle with, when I'm in this mode. And by "self-care" I'm not talking about candlelight bubble baths, although bathing is something that doesn't happen. I struggle to do basics things: brushing my teeth, showering, going to bed, getting out of bed. One thing I've noticed is that I'm better at taking care of myself when my partner and I are physically in the same place. He is good at routines, and I guess I just emulate him. He eats breakfast, so I eat breakfast. He takes care of his hygiene, so I do too.
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay Keep On Walkin' (CeCe Peniston)

By
Image
I'm not very steady on my feet. I experience so much vertigo, dizziness, weakness, and fatigue that I usually use a walker or a cane to get around. You know all this, if you've been reading my posts for a while. On a couple of occasions, my mother has made fun of my disability by laughing at me and imitating the way I walk. One of my sisters commonly looks at me with disgust. Another loses her patience because I can't move very quickly. Strangers on the street have been kinder to me than my own family. My mother has invited me to come on a little vacation this summer. A friend loaned her his cottage. I used to enjoy spending time with my family, but why would I want to spend a week with people who treat me the way they do? In a city of millions, I have never witnessed a stranger pointing at me and laughing and imitating my gait. But my own mother thinks this is okay behaviour? She wouldn't do that to a stranger, but she's done it to me. Maybe my family feels uncomfo
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay Wouldn't It Be Good (Placebo)

By
Image
Isn't it wild, being in your forties and your mom still lectures you for things you did when you were an actual child? Actually, I hope this isn't your experience. I hope you have parents who support you instead of shaming you. I hear those parents really do exist! When you grow up in a house of trauma, you never quite believe that there are functional families out there in the world, but I have it on good authority they're out there somewhere. Not here, though! I was talking to my mom earlier (you might have guessed...) and she brought up this incident where an adult asked me if I wanted to do something and I said no, I don't want to do that. It was nothing bad or weird! This adult was one of the only positive role models I had, aside from teachers. To this day my mother is "so embarrassed" that I--a mere CHILD--had the audacity to advocate for my own comfort and personal preference instead of just going along with what other people wanted. My mother is
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay Miserlou (Dick Dale and his Del-Tones)

By
Image
One of my "cool" aunts took me to see Pulp Fiction, which is kind of spectacular to imagine, considering I was only 14 when the movie was released. The movie came to mind yesterday when we listened to that Chuck Berry track, which was also featured in the film. I think I have a photograph somewhere of my aunt and I dancing like John Travolta and Uma Thurman. It never occured to me, when I was a child, that my mother's younger sisters weren't actually that much older than I was. They would have been teenagers when I was born, but they always seemed like adults to me. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through 
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay Macho Man (Village People)

By
Image
We got on the elevator with my neighbour the other day, and when he got off I whispered to my partner, "That's our neighbour," and my partner whispered back, "Each of his arms is thicker than your waist!" Which probably isn't true, but yeah... he's got some serious muscles, that man. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay You Never Can Tell (Chuck Berry)

By
Image
My partner and I just did a crossword puzzle where one of the clues was "____ la vie." My brain went immediately to: Fuck My Life. But that's not the right answer! "C'est la vie," say the old folks. Anyway, now this song is stuck in my head. Which is fine. There are far worse songs in the world. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through  my affiliate links . I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list.  Click here to sign up:  http://eepurl.com/R4b11 See you soon! Giselle
Read More! »

#SongoftheDay By the Light of the Silvery Moon (Fats Waller)

By
Image
My partner doesn't sing. But he sang this song to me the other night, and it was just the sweetest thing. He'd been talking about Mitch Miller and "follow the bouncing ball" singalongs that his parents--both vocalists--loved, and I was asking what kind of songs his parents liked, and he mentioned this one. I thought I'd come here and tell you, but of course I forgot what the song was five seconds later, so I asked my partner, "What was that song you just mentioned?" And instead of just reciting the lyrics, as he'd done before, he sang to me.  He doesn't like his singing voice, and he's very shy about sharing it--even with me, even though I sing at him constantly--so when he does sing, I feel like he's sharing a very special part of himself. So sweet.  If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your lo
Read More! »