Sick Days

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Been really sick recently. Almost called 911 last night, that's how much pain I was in. So I haven't scheduled any more music for the time being.  

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#SongoftheDay Love Hurts (Roy Orbison)

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I seem to be sending out a lot of songs to the dead, these days. The dead are on my mind all the time. If you'd asked me fifteen years ago--when my father died--if I would ever write any sort of tribute to him, I'd have laughed in your face. I didn't help with his obit. I didn't drive out to the town where he died to help sort through his things. My brother told me there was blood everywhere. His apartment was rancid. Nobody cleans that up for you. Though I didn't help with the funeral arrangements, I did pay for my father's funeral.  But I did that as a fuck-you to a family member I haven't spoken to since. There are some lovely individuals in my father's family, but there are some money-grubbing assholes over there, too. You know how they say time heals all wounds? I wonder if that's true. While I haven't held on to the anger and bitterness I once held against my father, I'm still dealing with the trauma that comes from growing up in ...
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#SongoftheDay The Things We Do For Love (10cc)

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I found myself singing this song, and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized I'd just been looking at a pair of wool socks my partner had decided to throw out. They're knee socks--ski socks--he's had since the 70s, but both had holes in the heels. I'd been looking at these heel holes, wondering if it would be worth darning them.  When I picked them up, I realized they were not wool at all. They were 100% acrylic . Or something. So I tossed them back in the trash. Darning socks is definitely one of the things I do for love, but you've got to draw the line somewhere. If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  Supporting my  AudioErotica  endeavour on  Patreon  would also help me hugely. I'm also an  Amazon Influencer,  so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by click...
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#SongoftheDay Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger (Charley Pride)

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Now THIS is the kind of country song I remember my grandparents listening to. And yet, until last month, I'd never heard of Charley Pride. I was compiling a playlist of country music for someone who'd requested a list of specific artists. Charley Pride was on that list. When I first saw the name, my thought was: "Hey, PRIDE!" When I pulled up his albums, I was like: "OMG a Black country music singer from the 1960s! Does the world know about this?" Like, considering the level of racism that exists today when a Black dude breaks out on the country music scene, I couldn't believe Charley Pride was chart-topping in the 60s. Weren't people MORE racist back then? I assume so, but I wasn't actually alive in the 60s, so I asked my partner, "Hey, have you heard of this guy Charley Pride?" He lit up as he told me stories about this singer's popularity. I never know who's heard of whom, but this song got planted in my brain for the...
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#SongoftheDay Cow Cow Boogie (Dorothy Dandridge)

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I've been falling down some fascinating YouTube rabbit holes lately, and landing on songs I've never heard of. Like this one. The line about "local weed" reminded me of my partner's best friend, who helps out people in her neighbourhood in small but meaningful ways. An old man she knows wanted to grow his own medicinal marijuana (it is legal to do so in our juristiction) but he lived in a small apartment with no balcony, and didn't think he could manage it. You know that old real estate rule about buying the worst house on the best street? That's my partner's best friend's house. It is tiny, but it's got a bit of a yard. So she offered to grow cannabis for this old man, and she did and it worked out just fine. Until the day she walked into her yard to find some fancy-ass woman pulling the plants up by their roots. She was like ummm who the hell are you and why are you destroying my garden? Turned out the fancy-ass woman was a real estate ...
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#SongoftheDay Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes (Paul Robeson)

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I've been falling asleep to an episode of Midsomer Murders called The Silent Land for the past... oh, three months? (I like repetition) and that episode begins with Joyce and Cully at a music concert of what Cully refers to as "all that folky stuff."  The song we hear performed is this one.  Cully doesn't like this music and she's squirming and rolling her eyes as the performer is singing. I don't buy that a professional actor would be so rude.  I used to work in a theatre, and the actors there are the people who taught me how to be a good audience member. When I say "good" I guess I actually mean "engaged" because the actors taught me to laugh and react, to give the performers on stage energy to work with.  So I don't buy a character who is supposed to be a stage actor being sullen and rude, even if she wasn't enjoying the show.  Anyway, that's my random episode of Midsomer Murders deep dive for the day. I chose Paul Robeson to...
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What is this? Where am I? What's it all about?

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All good questions. Let me explain. My name is Giselle and I'm your new best friend. Well, maybe not "best friend." A best friend usually listens in addition to talking, but that's not me. What I will do is be here every day, starting June 1 2019, to share with you whichever song pops into my head. Why?  What's the point? Well, here's the thing: I'm a writer. It's a pretty lonely job. Over the years, I've become increasingly socially isolated and you know what? It sucks. It sucks bad. The truth of the matter is that a lot of us are socially isolated, these days. And not just older people--younger ones, too.  There are "friendly visitor" programs for seniors, but those of us under 65 are kind of lost at sea. I speak from experience. Let me be your friendly visitor! If you need a no-pressure visit every day, let me be your visitor. I'll bring a song--whichever song pops into my head, gets stuck in my head, or seems relevant...
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#SongoftheDay I Heard it Through the Grapevine (Marvin Gaye)

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If you grew up in the 80s, chances are you associate this song with the California Raisins. I do. And I associate the California Raisins with a T-shirt I received as a birthday present from a girl at school. For me, the 80s was a great time to be a queer kid. It's funny how, when you're a kid, you just KNOW stuff about yourself. Like, I could have told you at 8 years of age that binary gender didn't work for me, if I'd had the words to say so. Then, as you grow up, you kind of let the world talk you into behaving in a certain way, presenting in a certain way, and you talk yourself into doing those things, too. Anyway, there was a girl in my class whose parents were big-time against gender stereotyping. That played out mostly in them encouraging their daughter to do "boy things" like playing sports. They only bought her masc clothes, and when it was birthday party time, the gift her mom bought me was a pair of black corduroy trousers... and a California Rai...
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#SongoftheDay Wouldn't It Be Good (Placebo)

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Isn't it wild, being in your forties and your mom still lectures you for things you did when you were an actual child? Actually, I hope this isn't your experience. I hope you have parents who support you instead of shaming you. I hear those parents really do exist! When you grow up in a house of trauma, you never quite believe that there are functional families out there in the world, but I have it on good authority they're out there somewhere. Not here, though! I was talking to my mom earlier (you might have guessed...) and she brought up this incident where an adult asked me if I wanted to do something and I said no, I don't want to do that. It was nothing bad or weird! This adult was one of the only positive role models I had, aside from teachers. To this day my mother is "so embarrassed" that I--a mere CHILD--had the audacity to advocate for my own comfort and personal preference instead of just going along with what other people wanted. My mother is ...
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#SongoftheDay Ah fors’è lui from La Traviata (Nadine Sierra)

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I could faint from the beauty of this voice. It makes me weak. Opera reminds me of all the big feeling I used to have that I don't seem to have anymore. I don't know if it's menopause, caregiving, or being chronically ill (or all of those things put together), but I often feel that forces that used to drive me (sex, love, jealousy, etc) aren't that relevant anymore. Elements of my emotional life that were so key to my decision-making for years are lost and gone and I don't even care.  I'm not saying I don't love my partner--I love him more than anyone else on the planet. But we spend so much time being ill and caring for one another that I wouldn't say it's that overblown, all-encompassing romance you see at the opera. It used to be, but it's not anymore. Maybe I'm supposed to say I miss being driven by sex and love and jealousy, but I don't think that's true. Those are all still elements of my life and my emotional makeup, but th...
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#SongoftheDay Hey, Soul Sister (Train)

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Oh, I... don't like this song. BUT it's earworm-level catchy, so it's been stuck in my head since I scheduled yesterday's post. I don't think I need to explain why, but I will anyway:    Yesterday we listened to Mr. Mister, and so obviously my brain kept going: "Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio?"   If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.  See you soon! Giselle
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