#SongoftheDay Family Portrait (P!nk)
When I saw that the britcom "My Family" was available to watch on BritBox, I was really excited to rewatch it. There are so many more seasons than I've ever seen. I have memories of watching it with one of my sisters, although I'm not sure when that would have happened. We didn't live together when this show existed. But, anyway, it had that sort of family nostalgia built into it.
So one day I was watching My Family on my laptop while folding clothes.
My partner walked into the room. He was behind me, so I couldn't even see him. I couldn't gauge the look on his face. But the mother and father characters on the show were in the midst of one of their typical screaming matches, and I suddenly felt humiliated.
People with childhood trauma often have a warped sense of humour. We don't realize this, of course, because there are enough of us out there to laugh at each other's jokes... which is, I suppose, why my sister and I enjoyed this show so much twenty years ago.
My partner is not a trauma survivor. Often, when I find something that touches on my trauma to be funny, my partner will say, "I just can't see the humour in that."
I had a moment of realization, when he walked into the room while these characters were screaming at each other. Suddenly, I didn't find the show funny anymore. At all.
For nostalgia's sake, I tried to keep watching it. I used to like it so much. But as I rewatched it, the characters disgusted me. The demeaning and belittling and cruelty... I didn't find it funny anymore. I found it sad. Because it reminded me of the violent household in which I grew up. It wasn't cool for parents to degrade their children. It wasn't amusing for spouses to scream at each other. I used to find it all hilarious, but now it turns my stomach.
That's the "problem" (not a problem?) with being embraced by my partner's wonderful, warm, caring, functional family: once you experience that level of familial love, you start to feel safe enough to begin healing your trauma, and when you start to heal, your tastes really do change. Your tastes change because YOU change.
Now that I've seen first-hand that functional families really do exist, and that they're lovely and not corny, I don't want to go back to the dysfunction from which I came. It holds no appeal. None.
If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.
So one day I was watching My Family on my laptop while folding clothes.
My partner walked into the room. He was behind me, so I couldn't even see him. I couldn't gauge the look on his face. But the mother and father characters on the show were in the midst of one of their typical screaming matches, and I suddenly felt humiliated.
People with childhood trauma often have a warped sense of humour. We don't realize this, of course, because there are enough of us out there to laugh at each other's jokes... which is, I suppose, why my sister and I enjoyed this show so much twenty years ago.
My partner is not a trauma survivor. Often, when I find something that touches on my trauma to be funny, my partner will say, "I just can't see the humour in that."
I had a moment of realization, when he walked into the room while these characters were screaming at each other. Suddenly, I didn't find the show funny anymore. At all.
For nostalgia's sake, I tried to keep watching it. I used to like it so much. But as I rewatched it, the characters disgusted me. The demeaning and belittling and cruelty... I didn't find it funny anymore. I found it sad. Because it reminded me of the violent household in which I grew up. It wasn't cool for parents to degrade their children. It wasn't amusing for spouses to scream at each other. I used to find it all hilarious, but now it turns my stomach.
That's the "problem" (not a problem?) with being embraced by my partner's wonderful, warm, caring, functional family: once you experience that level of familial love, you start to feel safe enough to begin healing your trauma, and when you start to heal, your tastes really do change. Your tastes change because YOU change.
Now that I've seen first-hand that functional families really do exist, and that they're lovely and not corny, I don't want to go back to the dysfunction from which I came. It holds no appeal. None.
If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library.
Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.
I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.
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See you soon!
Giselle
