#SongoftheDay 5-4-3-2-1 (Manfred Mann)

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The PTSD is really taking its toll, these days. It keeps stealing me out of the present moment and taking me into the past.

I tried to watch a woodworking show I really like (woodworking shows are very cool. explain to me why they're not), and I couldn't concentrate at all. If I'd never seen the show before, I'd have said it was boring and it didn't hold my attention. But I've seen many episodes, so I know I like it. I know it's the PTSD that's placing itself in front of my face so I can't even see the television--that's the problem.

I've learned coping mechanisms for dealing with PTSD flashbacks, but today I couldn't remember any of them. My brain had been that stolen away by unpleasant memories. So I had to google coping mechanisms, and one I came across is called 54321. I'm familiar with it, but I don't tend to use it.

To ground yourself in the present moment, you're supposed to look around the room for 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can... oh, this is a tough one... what are the five senses again? (See, this is why I rarely actually use this device. I don't remember so good anymore.) I know 2 is smell, which seems odd because how can you smell two different things at the same time? Are you supposed to open various vials and sniff them in alternation?

One is taste. I think 5 should be taste, and you should eat 5 different jelly beans and try to guess the flavours. In fact, I think this whole exercise should involve jelly beans. Eat 5, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1. That's a good exercise.

In the end, I just sang this song to myself. That made me feel well enough to go back to my woodworking show and actually enjoy it.


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See you soon!
Giselle


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