#SongoftheDay Virtual Insanity (Jamiroquai)

Want to see anxiety in action? Well, look this way, because I'm having a full-day freak-out, over here.

I can't remember if I was telling you this, or if I only told my newsletter subscribers, but my partner's health has been declining since he started testing NEGATIVE for Covid. So, basically, when he should have been getting better, he was actually getting worse.

Yesterday, I wondered out loud if maybe he'd developed pneumonia. Later that day he talked to his sister-in-law (a retired nurse) on the phone. He didn't mention what I'd said, and, umprompted, she expressed concern that he might have pneumonia. She told him to see a medical professional right away.

Last night, we called telehealth. He got a great nurse on the phone, and after he'd explained his symptoms, she told him to go to the emergency room. Immediately.

Well, he didn't want to go right away and, considering I waited a week to go to the ER the last time I had chest pains, I was in no position to push. He went to the hospital first thing this morning. I kept offering to go with him, and he kept telling me it would be a waste of time, I had work to do, no sense me spending my whole day waiting around, etc.

I should have just gone with him. All day, I've been kicking myself for not going. He's been at the hospital for more than eight hours so far. I've talked to him once. I don't think they'll be admitting him, but they're running lots of scans.

Why didn't I just get in the car with him? Why didn't I just go?

Instead, I did a lot of writing, because I felt like I'd be wasting the time he was giving me if I didn't. After that, I cleaned his entire house, because I know how frustrated he's been that fatigue has rendered him unable to keep up with domestic tasks. All that's left to clean are the floors. I don't know if I've got time to wash them before he gets home. I don't know what time he'll get home.

I don't know if he will come home tonight at all.


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See you soon!
Giselle


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