#SongoftheDay Ain't No Cure for Love (Leonard Cohen)

 I spent this morning with my head in a bucket.

There's a migraine medication my doctor prescribed for me. These pills are extremely expensive, so I don't take them very often. I only had one left, and I couldn't remember if I had side effects from them. Turns out I do. 

This morning, rather than staying in bed with a migraine, I stayed in bed feeling like I was going to puke, shaking uncontrollably, feeling horribly dizzy even though I was lying down. Imagine paying money to feel like that.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

When I woke up (with my head in a bucket), I was parched. 

It's noon as I'm writing this. I'm still in bed.

Yesterday my mother said to me, "It's like you don't even WANT to get better!"

I was livid. 

First off, I'm living with chronic illness. You don't just "get better" from that. There ain't no cure for love, and there ain't no cure for what I've got.

Secondly, I have seen my family doctor 4 times in the past 5 months. I have tried 3 different prescription medications in that time, all of which have given me horrible side effects, and one of which landed me in the emergency room. I spend money I don't have on the supplements my doctor told me to take. I've done everything that's been asked of me.

Yeah, Ma, I just love wallowing in my pain. I WANT to live this way. Wouldn't change it for the world.

I'm so angry I could hurl.



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See you soon!
Giselle


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