#SongoftheDay Watching the Detectives (Elvis Costello)

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I'm lying on my bed as I write this post. 

I woke up feeling ill, which is not unusual. I spend half my life barely able to crawl out of bed.

My partner has four medical appointments today, but he insisted he doesn't need me there for any of them. He said he'd call if he needed anything. 

We spent yesterday at the hospital, meeting with various oncology professionals. It was an exhausting day. So many waiting rooms. So much waiting. 

And the day never ends when we get home. That's when I have to figure out what to make for dinner even though I just want to collapse in a heap.

So I've been lying here for two hours, hoping for my own pain to subside, watching true crime shows on my laptop, and feeling guilty for not doing all the work I've got to do. And the laundry! The laundry has been building up for weeks, but my health and mobility have been so poor that I haven't had the strength to carry it down to the laundry room in my building.

I wish somebody would help me in very practical ways: help me with the laundry, help me with meal preparation. It's hard to take care of someone with cancer when you can barely take care of yourself.

As I was watching my true crime show, a voice in my head suddenly spoke up to say: "You don't need to feel guilty about this. Life is hard. You're allowed to take a moment to rest and recharge, especially when you're feeling so unwell yourself."

That was a revelation.

So I'm just gonna keep watching my show, and later on I'll get some work done and I'll try to do the laundry, and I'll plan the kind of meal my partner's oncological dietitian has advised him to eat, and I'll cook and I'll clean. Will I want to do any of those things? Hell, no. I'm exhausted. I just want to rest.

But I'm resting now, and watching the detectives.


If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library. 

Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.

I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.

I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list. 

Click here to sign up: http://eepurl.com/R4b11


See you soon!
Giselle


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