#SongoftheDay Number One Fan (MUNA)

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I know I'm having a difficult day when I find myself watching YouTube videos about Complex PTSD, which is a form of PTSD I have in spades. If you ever want to borrow some PTSD, I've got more than enough and I'm happy to share.

Unfortunately, when I share my PTSD with other people, it's more like sharing my PTSD "at" other people, and basically what I'm saying is that it's an altercation. My life can get ugly, and I can feel ugly, and that's why I hide myself away most of the time. On days when I don't leave the house, it's either because of chronic illness, or it's because I'm afraid of how I might interact with other people out there in the world.

Sometimes I hate the world. 

Other times, I hate myself so much that I don't want to subject the world to... well, to ME.

One of the YouTube people I was listening to today mentioned this song I'd never heard of by this band I'd never heard of. I immediately looked it up. I watched the video, and it made me cry.

The other night, I was telling my partner about The Monster at the End of This Book, which was one of my favourite stories, growing up. It was a Sesame Street Little Golden Book--the kind with the cardboard covers, if you remember them. Maybe they still exist. 

In this story, Grover begs you not to turn the page because there's a monster at the end of the book and he's terrified to get there and meet this monster. Spoiler Alert: when you get to the end of the book, the only one there is Grover, and her realizes HE is the monster at the end of the book. He was the monster all along, and there was no reason to be so afraid.

It's a lesson I've spent my whole life trying to learn, and I'm not there yet. Nowhere near.


If you're wondering how you can support me in bringing you songs and anecdotes, the easiest thing you can do is buy my books (most are for adults only!) or check them out from your local library. 

Supporting my AudioErotica endeavour on Patreon would also help me hugely.

I'm also an Amazon Influencer, so hopefully I can make a little pocket change when you buy stuff by clicking through my affiliate links.

I also recommend subscribing to my newsletter. I generally e-mail subscribers with a weekly update, and I would LOVE to have you on the list. 

Click here to sign up: http://eepurl.com/R4b11


See you soon!
Giselle


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