#SongoftheDay In the Year 2525 (Zager and Evans)

Not too long ago, I was writing about PTSD and how it sucks me out of the present moment and into the past.

Well, I also struggle with anxiety, which sucks me out of the present moment and into the future. 

But here's the thing about the future: I don't actually know what's going to happen in it. In my vast experience of living with anxiety, I've found that very few of the things I worry my pretty little head about actually come to pass. Bad things do happen--they're just not the bad things I kept worrying would happen.

I never worried my partner would get cancer. Neither of his parents had cancer. In fact, no one in his family has had cancer. Plus, my mother already had cancer. Like, why would my husband get cancer when my mother already has it? She's got cancer covered. There's no reason why he should get it too.

I am not psychic. Far from it. Just because I am certain something bad is going to happen doesn't mean it will. But do you think I can convince myself of that when I can't sleep or I can't concentrate on the TV show we're watching because I'm so worried that the little fix my landlord needs to make at my apartment will 100% certainly lead to my being evicted and everybody in my life will abandon me and I will end up living in the scrubland beside the railroad tracks?

Anxiety takes me out of the here-and-now. And that sucks, because my here-and-now is so much better than the existence I imagine for myself.


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See you soon!
Giselle


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